there's no single formula that works for everyone (a valid crash out)

can we stop pretending there's a formula to life?

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

I'm supposed to be in bed right now, but I've been tossing and turning, thinking about something. I have a bond to pick with you today. Um, it is currently 1 a.m. Uh, I've been thinking about a lot of things. I've been thinking about a lot of things. So I read a lot of articles. I think if you've been a listener of this podcast, you know that. And today I wanna talk about statistics. Like, listen, statistics are very important. It's very important for us to know that well, most people do this, this, this, this. Or actually, a certain percent of people usually turn out to be this, this, and that, and that, and that, and that statistics everywhere. Oh my god, don't get me started on the algorithm. Oh, the the algorithm says, Oh, the algorithm will favor you, or this and that, or this and that. If you want something to be successful, you have to, you have to, you have to. Oh my god, I am so exhausted. Oh god, I'm so exhausted. Oh no. Oh here's what I think there is no two people in this world. There is no two people in this world that have the same story. No one is born into the family that I am born the same time that I was born to the same parents in the same place. No one has had the path of life that I am having right now. Like, if you find someone else that looks like me, you won't find them. You won't find them. Here's my thing. Oh my god, I feel like I'm about to be pissed. Here's my thing. We are not robots, we are not freaking robots. I am a human being. My story is very, very different from anyone's story, and so is your story.

SPEAKER_00 2:03

I cannot just predict based on the numbers, based on this and that, it is predicted that you will know that. What? I'm sorry. I don't know if people know this, but then it's like somebody's life can change in a fraction of a second.

SPEAKER_01 2:26

How many things are happening right now that uh in your life, mind you, I am not talking about generally, I'm not talking about whether like, oh, by 2025, oh, a certain percentage of uh addiction of something will increase, or of this, this. I mean, when it comes to the general public, statistics are very important. Once it comes to use, once you start running your life like a computer, that's a freaking problem. That's an issue. Once you start doing things, because you're like, Well, 90% of people do this, this, this, this, so I'm gonna do that. Oh, this, this, this. Like, like I understand like when once it comes to business, and you know what? This is why we have different people for different things when it comes to jobs and and and something. Like, if you have a business, it's you're gonna get to a point where you won't be able to do everything by yourself. You're gonna have to allocate some things for certain people, yeah. But then there are just some things where it's like if you're doing something and you love it, do it the way that you enjoy to do it, the way that you feel like is right for you. Now, I don't know. Now, my opinion is subject to change the more I live. But I feel like, okay, here's my thing. If I am doing something and uh I am doing it a certain way, and then that is the way that I love, and that is the way I that I enjoy to do that thing, right? Just because there is a 95% chance that I will have more, let's say money from doing it another way that I don't particularly enjoy, a way that I don't like. If it's for a short time, I understand. But then, like, if this is something that you're planning to do for the rest of your life, uh, I don't think you should do that. I don't think we should run our lives just solely based on what's gonna make more profit, what's gonna make more money, what's gonna make more this, more that. And I'm like, hey, you started doing this thing out because it's something that you love, but then now it's become something that you almost dread. There is already so many things in this life. There is already so many things that you're gonna have to do. Honey, whether you like it or not, you're gonna have to do your laundry, you're gonna have to load and unload the dishwasher, whether you like it or not. And by the way, you have to be grateful for that freaking dishwasher because you know what? People are washing dishes by their hands. Okay, not even dishes, people are washing clothes by their hands. Yeah, I just had to throw that in. But there is already so many things that you have to do. You're gonna have to stay in traffic, whether you like it or not. Your flight will be delayed, you're gonna have to sit there, and you might as well do it with a positive attitude, whether you like it or not. Already, you're gonna have to be nice and smile to people who you'd rather you'd rather they be taken to Mars without any provisions, and then we can just all act like, oh, it was a big accident. You're gonna have to deal with those people. You're gonna have to deal with your dad that abandoned you for a long time in the future. Because guess what? That's your dad. There is already so much, there is already so many things that you'd rather not be dealing with in life, but you're gonna have to deal with them eventually. Now, what part of that? I'm I'm sorry. I just don't know how some how people think sometimes. And I I you know what I'm not I'm not being inconsiderate of like, oh, there are times when like it's necessary to to to do things to like maybe make more money or to to like to have a reach, to to to like you know what, maybe expose your business a little bit to more people. It's it makes sense to do things that you'd rather not be doing, but like you you wanna do them now, they're like a little bit uncomfortable because they're for the greater good. It's okay to do that until you get to a point where you can choose what you want to do, but then there is also greed. There is an issue of greed. Some people are just playing out greedy. I'm like, you're just greedy, you are greedy. You studied this thing because you love it, huh? Yeah, you studied this thing because I love to do this, and I want to do this because of one, two, three, four, and then now you're doing you're adding things to this thing, and it's like, uh, what is going on? What is this? Let me tell you something. I don't care if this is controversial or not. Let me tell you something. Nobody wants to be treated like a statistic. We love statistics, but nobody wants to be treated like a statistic. Just imagine how annoying. Oh my god, just imagine how annoying it is for you to walk into a store or to walk into something that you've loved for a long time, right? And find that there's only a few choices for you. The thing that you want is not there. Not only the thing that you want is not there, the opportunity for you to even choose something is not there. No. Oh no, you think you're gonna walk in and be able to be like, I'm comparing these things, maybe I want this. This is why I love thrifting. That that's a topic for another day. That's a topic for another day. It's so annoying to be like, oh, so you predicted that what I'm gonna love is gonna be among these three things. It's not. It's not, it's not. May I remind you that the world has eight billion people. Eight billion people. Here's the thing the same faith that you have with like, if I do this, if I do this thing, people love this more. People love this more, so I'm gonna put this more. I'm gonna, I'm not gonna do what I want to do, I'm not gonna do what I think is good. Because like I believe we're all given like some gifts, some creative gifts. And so if you have some creativity in a certain area, do it the way your creativity is leading you to do. Do it in the way that you think looks good. Because guess what? You have been given the eye for that. No one else is gonna look. No one else, like if somebody doesn't have the same creativity that you have, if somebody doesn't have the same gift that you have in a certain area, they're not gonna be able to look at something and be like, let's do it this way, this way, this way, this way. No, that's why you are there in the certain sector, because you have the eye for that. And so you curate a bunch of things, and then people get to select from what you have, right? But these people can't come up with these things by themselves. You walk into a story and you're like, that is so cool, I want that, because somebody thought of that and and they had the gift to do that, they had the gift to create that and they put it there. That's why you can now look at it and be like, that is cool. Could you have done that in your freaking room? No. Listen, honey, if you lock me up in a room with all the books, all the materials, all the engineers that I need to make a car, and I have to make this car with them. They're like, like I come up with ideas and stuff, and we make this car. Let me tell you what I'll do. I'll pick the color of this car. I'll pick the the uh how I want like the seats to be, the outside of things. I won't know where to put that engine, I won't know where to put the metal, I won't know where to put the I won't know a thing if you lock me inside that house for a hundred years. I won't. I won't. Sometimes things break down and I'm like, gonna have to get a new one. It's not my thing. It's not my thing. Fixing? No, no way. But honey, if you get a bunch of ingredients and you're like, we need to eat, I'll be like, relax. Where's the remote? Take the freaking remote, get yourself a drink, get yourself a ball of popcorn, relax. The master is at work. I don't freaking care if it's a new ingredient. I will find a way. I will find a way because that's my that's my thing. That's that's that's my creativity. Give me a freaking microphone and a topic. I'm good. I am good. We are at an event and they need somebody to say something at the end. I don't care if I was not listening. Just point at me and ask me a question. As long as it's not math. If I have to explain myself, I'm good. I am good. You know, you see what I'm saying? Now, this whole thing about like, oh, the algorithm, the this and that, and this is this is why I love Beyonce so much. This is why I love Michael Jackson so much. There is no success formula. There is no success formula, and I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate when people try to have a formula. There is no one thing that works for everyone. There is no. There is no one thing that works for everyone. I just came from talking to my friend, one of my dearest friends. In fact, all of my dearest friends, they can go online and scroll for the same amount of hours that I would have to scroll if I went online, and I will be feeling horrible. I'll be feeling like I'm sick. I'll be feeling like I feel like my brain is being pressed. I feel horrible. And these friends, they're okay. They couldn't be more fine. They're okay. Now, get a stupid guy with a freaking success formula to talk about this topic. They're gonna talk as if, oh, there's only one way, and that's the way. It's so stupid. I hate that. This reminds me of when I remember reading an article, I remember reading an interview of Beyoncé where she said that there were the people came up to her and they had done all this research, and like I think it was people she was working with or something, and they were like, We don't recommend you do photo shoots in black and white. I mean, photos, we don't recommend that you release photos in black and white because oh, there's a certain percentage people are less likely to interact with a black and white photo. Uh also we recommend you take what what in the actual hell is going on? I would pay money, a lot of money, to be in that room when this conversation was taking place. I can't imagine the look on Beyoncé's face and on my face. Get up, put on your shoes, take your briefcase, take your freaking statistics, get the hell out of my house. Now the world has eight billion people. You understand? There is no one thing that everyone is gonna like and everything and one thing that everyone is gonna hate. There's no there's no such thing. For everything, there's gonna be people who like it, and there's gonna be people who hate it. And so, do what you freaking love, and the people that will love it with you will find you. Every time I find people who are trying, they'll be like, Oh, if you do this, if you do this, your video is gonna go viral. Here's some trip. Oh no, here's some tips and tricks to make your photos have more likes. If you want people to, you're gonna have to do this, this, this, this, this, you're gonna have to, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, you suck. You suck. I just hate. Oh maybe, oh my god. I'm just realizing right now, maybe this is why, maybe this is why me and social media we're kinda like, uh, it's been a bumpy ride. Maybe this is why. I don't know. Like, once you start to do things in a way that is very statistics driven, it starts to become very fake. It starts to become very like sometimes. I see people they're like, Well, I have to. I'm like, you don't have to, you don't have to. If anything, what you need is patience. You're gonna have to be patient to ultimately find your people. That's what you need. The energy that you're working on on trying to be what is likable, trying to be likable, trying to to to like do things that you think if you do those things, people will like you more, or people will like your work more, or people will like what you're doing more, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I know some of these things we can't control because like uh the people who are making these decisions are like higher than us, blah blah blah blah blah, and then like you you just end up falling into it. But then, like, if you have any power at all, if you have any power at all, and you do have power in your life, in your own life, please do what you like, interact with what you like. It doesn't have to have uh the validation of like a thousand people, a million or so people liking it, and people are becoming very very, very desensitized um to the number of people because it's almost like I'm so sorry. Like, I was watching a music video today by an artist that I love so much. She makes very, very uplifting music. Very like the type of music that you listen to and you're like, I am confident. I am walking down the street, and I don't care what you think about me. Cause I cause I rock, because I'm feeling good about myself. And I was watching this video, it has clause to a million views, right? And it's been it's been five days. Do you know how many people that is? Tell me, tell me what was in the comments. Mind you, these are fans, these are people that love this person, and uh it's almost like it's like it's just become a way of like of like praising someone, you know, and people are like, oh, this deserves much more attention than it's getting. And I'm like, okay. Uh I guess there's a better way to put things. Or people are like, this is supposed to, this is supposed to be high espresso. Cause you know, espresso was the song that catapulted Sabrina Carpenter into the pop star that she is right now. And so now it has become like a term where it's like, oh, this is supposed to be high espresso. This is supposed to, oh, someone is like, oh, like if you're here before one million views, oh blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. And I'm like, whatever happened to love this song, whatever happened to a normal compliment, you know? Uh I I you know what? I I don't want to be, I don't want to be the guy that just complains about things, but I just want you to know today if there's one thing that you take out of this episode, no one has been in the situation that you are in right now, at the same place, with the same feelings, with the same background, with the same mind and way of thinking as you. You are the first person to be in whatever, whatever situation you think it is, there is other people who have experienced it like you, but there is no another you who has experienced it. You understand what I'm saying? You are the only you there will ever be. And so, every time you're trying to get a reference, you also need to bear in mind that hey, they're not me. Sometimes they see things and it's like, oh, so-and-so did this and they failed. And I'm like, Yeah, but I'm Nick. They're not Nick. And so it's different. It's good to know the possibilities, but then again, they're not you. It doesn't matter. This whole, for example, the whole conversation of like oversaturation. This industry is saturated right now. I'm like, I don't freaking care. They're not Nick. There is no Nick, or you're going somewhere and there's like a bunch of people needed, your superpower is that you're you. If you're gonna need Nick, I'm the only Nick. I'm the only Nick you can find. If you need another person, go ahead. Go ahead. But I, you have to know that you're you, no one, no one is you, and so I you know, I don't wanna sound like a broken record, and I don't wanna sound like I don't wanna sound like you don't need to love your job, you need to job your love. I don't wanna sound like that. I don't wanna sound like that. By the way, for context, if you don't know, there's this video online of someone being like, you don't need to job your love. No, you don't need to love your job, you need to job your love. And it was like on a podcast, and then this the this other guy on the other end was like, mmm, acting like he understood, and like, uh what are you saying? By the way, I am about to be in a transitionary phase of my life. I love change, I think change is exciting, and if you hate change. I'm just gonna go ahead and tell you this. You're gonna hate most of your life. Yeah. So you need to change your mind about change. Huh? Because change is inevitable. I've been reading Michael Jackson's book. Oh my god. He says this every chapter. Okay, maybe not chapter. Every like every time there's a change in his life, he says it. In the book, he's like, change is inevitable. So entering into this phase, there is a lot of statistics. Oh my god. Oh my god. And when I say statistics, it doesn't have to be artists, it doesn't have to be official. It can just be people's lives and people's stories. Uh, where it's people like, well, so and so did this, so and so did this when they are at the same stage as you, so and so did this. Well, it's important to have reference and to know and to learn from others' mistakes. It's also very important to remember that this is one of a kind situation that you have you have going on. This is one of a kind journey. No one has been in the exact same situation as you. You understand? No one. You're the one who is in this situation, and so like sometimes we hear like most people usually do this and they fail, or most people do this and they succeed, or most people they this this this, most people this. At the end of the day, do what you want to do. What do you want to do? What fulfills you, what fills your cap? What I mean, again, be smart with it. Be smart with it. I mean, I I don't want to every time remind you that like no one thing works out for everyone. I don't want to be every time to be like, it may not be the case for everyone. I mean, you're a freaking human being, you know you're listening to me, you don't have to to be like, what this guy is saying is the law. I'm gonna take it as it is. No. Actually, I don't think people who think like that listen to podcasts. So maybe I need to relax a little bit. Because sometimes I say something, and then in my head, I'm like, well, that might not be the case for everyone. And then I start saying it, and then I'm like, I I just wanna I just wanna say, I just wanna speak my mind out. And you you know what? You might feel like you're witnessing a crash out, and if you feel like that, that's okay. We're human beings, we all love to be witnessed, and you might learn something from my crash out, and so I realized I didn't finish the Beyoncé story. So you know what Beyoncé did after those people are like, Oh, you shouldn't do photo shoots in black and white, because people are less likely to interact with them if they're in black and white. She went ahead and did all the photo shoots in black and white. Yep, yep, because she was like, You can't reduce people to an algorithm, you can't reduce people to, and this is why don't give don't get me tatted on AI. Yeah, you can't reduce people to a stereotype, you can't reduce people to like oh, oh, I bet you're gonna do this. What human beings are complex, human beings are more deep than that, you know. Another thing, this is why Beyoncé is a revolutionary artist for the last two albums, Renaissance and Cowboy Cutter, which are I can't, I don't know, words cannot explain how much I love these albums. There has not been any music videos. There's no visuals for these albums, no music videos, no, which is something that is very unheard of in the music industry because people are like, Oh, you have to put on the music video, because then a lot of people on YouTube will discover your music and they'll discover your song, and it's great. We love music videos, right? And it works. Hey, does that mean you have to do it just because it works, just because it brings in a lot of people? Does that mean you have to do it even if it doesn't really align with your vision and your timing and the way you're doing everything? No, which is exactly what Beyoncé did. I bet you, I bet you, I bet you there's somebody who was like, Well, I think we should release some videos because a lot of people are gonna come through the videos. And the fact that she didn't do it, it means it didn't align with her vision and her timing. Maybe, who knows? Maybe it's gonna come in the future, but for the time that she did it, it was different. And if you look at Beyonce's career, she's done this so many times. The whole like releasing music, there was like, oh, a specific time where you have to release your music because this is when a lot of people are listening to the music. Oh my god, by the way, I tried this, I'm not gonna lie, I tried this whole statistic thing, and looking back, I am just realizing this right now. I'm having an epiphany. Maybe because there was a time of my life where I was so depressed. I was so depressed. You guys, I was so depressed, I wanted to quit college. That's how depressed I was. Looking back to this day, I cannot specifically tell you one thing that was making me depressed. I can't. I can't, which is the way most people feel about like depressions or something. At least I think so. And looking back now, I remember I had this whole elaborate schedule of how I was gonna do things, and I had done like this like deep research of like the the times and the things, and like there was I was like, oh, I'm gonna get into doing things a certain way. And I remember there were things that I didn't like, I don't like, I don't agree with to this day. Especially things that fall into the category of like catering to the low attention span, which like, oh people have such a low attention span from watching TikTok videos all day. So you're gonna have to do whatever you wanna do with with around this. Listen, baby, if you can't listen to uh a 15-minute podcast episode, do you know what you should do? Don't listen to a 50-minute podcast episode. That's what you should do. The solution is simple. The solution is simple, it's almost selfish, it's actually selfish if you think of it to be like my attention span is only 10 seconds. So, like, if it's not 10 seconds, then you should make it 10 seconds, honey. If your attention span is 10 seconds and you see a video or you see a podcast or you see something that is not 10 seconds, do you know what that means? Do you know what that means, you dummy? Uh, do you know what that means, you spoiled brat? Do you know what that means? It means that it's not for you. Have you ever thought of that? No, think of it now. It's not for you. It's not for you. And so if you want to do something a certain way, do it that way. It will reach the people that it is meant for. And if there is a certain group of people that it's not reaching, it was not meant for them. You will find your people. Just because you've met people, just because there is a pool of people somewhere, doesn't mean they have to appeal to you. And it dilutes somebody's creativity, it dilutes somebody's art, it dilutes whatever somebody is doing once they start to try to make it appeal to people. Once you start living your life in a way that's like, oh, I want to be liked by people, I want to be loved by people. Once you start doing things in a way that's like, oh, I want to be loved by people, it makes you, it makes you let me tell you what it makes you. It makes you look like there's just something off. I don't know what it is, but there's just something off. There's just something that I don't get. There's just something, there's just something. I mean, will you succeed at making people maybe like you? Yes. But do you know what else you'll succeed at? Feeling horrible. You will feel horrible. You will feel like you hate it. Now, looking back, I'm not saying that was the reason why I was depressed, but I'm sure it played a big part. Because I started doing things where I was like, I don't like doing this. But you know what? They say it's important, they say it helps, they say it's good, they say like if you want to like succeed or if you wanna like do well, you have to do it. And so I started doing what is said. Boy, oh boy, was I miserable. Oh my god, I hated it. I hated every second of it, and I didn't know that I hated it, which is weird because I just felt horrible. I just felt horrible every time, and I didn't know why. I just felt I was like, oh my god, I feel so existential, I feel so I was so touchy, I was so grouchy, I was so like, I felt every I went through the six stages of grief, except it's the six stages of grief and every other feeling in the book. It was a horrible time. And now looking back, I never realized that, but now that I am talking, I am like maybe that played a big part. But also that was also another transitionary phase, I would say. Not really, actually. Not really. There was just a lot going on in my life during that time, and uh yeah, I don't know how to wrap this up in a in a package that's like edible for you. And honestly, there's no need for me to do that. Yeah, don't let an algorithm, don't let some AI, don't let some uh group of people, don't let some scientists. And did I tell you? Did I finish the story? The the shoots that Beyonce did, they ended up drawing more, more and more and more people. They were very, very much successful. And the albums that Beyonce didn't release music videos for, which is The NOM, that like you release a single and then a music video and then the album and then like something like that. I mean, we all we all see it. We all see she didn't do that. Guess what? They wrecked in a hundred and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of millions, and now she's a freaking billionaire. And the whole thing of surprise drops. Like, you know what? If this, if if it's your thing, pay attention to the way Beyonce is doing thing things, pay attention to the way Michael Jackson, pay attention to anyone who is like, they were not swayed. Oh my god, there's nothing more annoying than somebody who is doing something where you can tell that's like, oh, they they think that this is the thing that will appeal to people. And it's like, what? Human beings are complex and you can't really be like, like, like reduce them to to an to to something, to like a statistic or whatever. You can wake up one day and decide that something that you've been doing for the last six days, you don't want to do it anymore. You hate it, even though you enjoyed it for the last six days. Now tell me what part of that sounds like something that can be absorbed and put in a bottle, if you will. Tell me what of tell me what part of that sounds like something that you can be like, we took this down and we think this is what you should do in your life based on the blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Now, don't get me wrong, it's important, it's very much important. I read statistics all the time because it's like we get to see what you know what most people do. We get but like I feel like the whole point of that is for us to learn from that it shouldn't affect how you feel about something. 99% of the world could hate something and you could love it. Cause because what why? Why you may ask? I don't know, maybe because you are in the 1%, and that's okay, and that's okay. Now, am I saying that you shouldn't like air your opinion about things? I'm not saying that, but then I am just telling you once it comes to living your life, once it comes to doing what you want to do with your life, the way you're doing it, just make sure you're doing it the way that you feel is right, the way that you feel is creative, the way that you feel is the way that you will love and enjoy. Don't do something in a specific way because it's like, oh well, this is what they say. They say if you do this, you're gonna succeed, or they say if you it's like, okay, they say if you do this, you're gonna succeed. Think about it. Is this something that I want to do? How do I feel about this thing? I'm not telling you that every part of life needs to be enjoyable. No, no, no, no, but I'm telling you, for example, you're working a job, right? You really love what you're doing at the moment, you love it so much, but you get offered a promotion where you will get a little bit more money. Okay, let's say maybe more man, but then there is some added responsibilities, and these added responsibilities, you would rather not do these things. Like, if that thing is in your day, you're just like, oh, I can't wait to get through this day. I think the wise choice would be not to accept this promotion. I mean, if you have if you're gonna be miserable doing it, it's not a good thing for you. It's not a good thing for you. You only have so much time in this world. And you know what? At the end of the day, you're gonna have to do something eventually. Eventually, you're gonna have to be doing something. So you might as well do something that you like, or do something that doesn't make you feel horrible, or do something like if it's for a certain time, if you have no choice, it's okay. I understand. I understand. We all have things that we do because we have no choice, because we have to survive, because we have to live, because we have bills to pay, because we have we all do those things, but just bear in mind that it doesn't have to be like that forever. Just bear in mind that things can change and they can change in the right direction that you would want and love, right? And I feel like if we have this, it will even make us more like bold to ask for things and bold to ask for certain things not to be included. Like, for example, like if you if you know, and I mean, obviously, it's important to to to go out and step out and try things for you to know what is what, and after you've known like what is what, you can be like, hey, I would do that if only there is no this, this, this, this. Or I would do that, but let's add this, let's do this instead of this. I hope, I hope this episode is of help to you. Do things the way you want to do. Follow peace, follow your conscience. Your conscious is always telling you something, and so if that's one thing you'd hear me say today, then sob it. You should not be tied down to any statistics. Just because most people who move to a certain city don't make it, does that does not mean that you should not do it. That does not mean that I mean it should just means that you should have certain things in mind, like look at what mistake most people make. But just because, like, oh, just most people usually don't make it. So, so I mean, I don't care. Like you you you look at it, like just look at these things and be like, what? So okay, so what? So what if they failed? I'm not them. Plus, there's only one way to find out to step out and do it. And that is all I have for today. Uh don't worry. Next time we'll come back a little bit. Uh not crashing out. See you next Tuesday.